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Wednesday, 31 July 2013

One of the Boys



So it’s been a while, clearly. I do apologise boys, but this gal has been ever so slightly engulfed with work. Not a bad thing, at all – though the side effects do include some minor neglect on my part. For this, I’m sorry.

*quick boob flash*
There. Can we be friends again?
Great!
So this month I’ve been doing my utmost best to budget properly – which as you know, for all woman, is a tough task. I don’t know that you’ll ever understand why it is that when we are sad/busy/stressed/celebrating/pms’ing/angry/confused we HAVE to swipe plastic at Zara, or nose dive into a strawberry milkshake, or book ourselves a 90 minute Dermalogica facial… but we do. The same way you need to drink beer and build shit and kick a ball.
As I was tallying up my expected expenses for the month and stealing penny’s here and there for an upcoming trip and a long awaited booze fest… I got to thinking a little bit about currency, and how you okes calculate things so differently to us mysterious creatures. Let me elaborate… and illuminate the possibilities.
*whizzing puff of smoke*
You’ve all heard or read somewhere or had some cousin tell you, that woman really appreciate the small things as well as the big. I have the sneakiest suspicion, that in your minds you’re all like: “Uh, no they don’t. If I open a car door, it’s not the same as if I’m like providing for someone?” Well, this is debatable. You see, woman appreciate acts of love on a kind of point system if you will. We’re as overwhelmed and excited about something as silly as you buying us a single rose as we are about a going on a holiday together. Any act of love that we get, is appreciated equally. And this is a tough one for you fellas because you work things quite differently – you appreciate things in “chunks” and sometimes this means the absence of an act, like when your lady doesn’t point out when you are wrong, force you to get directions or nag you to come home when you are out with the boys.  The accounting may look a little something like this:
A Woman’s Balance Sheet:Cooked me dinner – 1
Sent me a good morning msg – 1
Sorted out my expired car license – 1
Changed all my light bulbs – 1
Told me I was beautiful – 1
Bought me flowers – 1
A Man’s Balance Sheet:Made me lunch– 0
Watched my soccer game – 0
Congratulated me about a new deal at work – 0
Happy to see me, even though I came home 2 hours late - 6
Am I saying you should stop with the grand romantic gestures? NO!  We love that shit. Even if we say we don’t – we totally do. I’m saying that a woman’s primary requirement is to feel cherished in a relationship – we need lots of small bits of reassurance that you love us and that we are super special. What makes a dude feel appreciated and loved? Go on… admit it, you need to feel needed and you need to feel like we trust you to take care of us. And we could learn a thing or two about showing it – but it’s tough, as we clearly tally things up differently.
Go home tonight and fill your special miss’s account with lots of little tokens of appreciation! Run her a bath, clean up after dinner, tell her you love her, listen to how tough her day was and how no one gets her and how so and so is such a selfish bitch and then - wait for a return on your investment.  When a woman feels valued and special – she finds it a lot easier to let herself need and trust you.
That’s my 2 cents!

 

 

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