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Tuesday, 27 November 2012

One of the Boys - November

It’s almost the end of November – Movember taches will slowly begin to disappear, procrastinators like me are trying to orchestrate a cheap December holiday, Woollies is stocking up on overpriced Xmas goodies that you will undoubtedly buy in a last minute panic, when you realise there’s that damn secret Santa crap going on at the office this year. But above all – tis the season to be jolly, overindulge and make out under the mistletoe!
As promised, here is a list of some of my favourite things to give as gifts to your girlfriends, sisters and mothers. Hmmm, maybe not mothers. Have fun and get creative : )
A Little Something in your Stocking
I love the idea of small, fun tongue in cheek gifts. There’s so much pressure in a relationship when it comes to gifts and there need not be – especially around Christmas. Keep it light with some of these delightful goodies:

Sexy Legs Toothbrush from Big Blue – R90.00

Photo Snow globe from Big Blue – R120.00

Art Supply Box from The Space – R218.00

Credit to download her tunes at my fave site

Gifts for a Domestic Goddess

Cupcake Maker from Clicks – R249.00

Cupcake Decorator from Clicks – R70.00
Purchase a One Day Coffee Course through – R1100.00

Get a lovely Cookbook (I love the quick and easy recipes in Nigella Express (R593.00) and the inventive and delicious vegetarian recipes in Plenty (R437.00) priced online) from Exclusive Books, order online and get free delivery.
Buy a gift voucher from they have the coolest cookery and kitchen selections from ice cream makers to pizza ovens to beautiful cookware and recipe journals. Let her pick something delicious to add to her collection.
Naughty Things for Nice Girls
Sensual Massage Oils from The Body Shop – R140.00 (R99.99 Unscented, R110 Divine Calm) paired with a long luxurious massage that dissolves the stress of 2012. Yes Please!

Cute Cami’s from La Senza – R699.00 Make sure you know her bra size and her general clothing size. Wearing a little silky lace number to spice up your loving = SEXY, squeezing into something 2 sizes 2 small, that makes your hip fat look like a stringed up Christmas Gammon = NOT SEXY. If you aren’t too sure, rather go with a voucher – they wrap it up so it looks pretty as well. 
Fun and Stylish Bedside Condoms from The Space – R65.00

Plaisir Nacre White Handcuffs from– R180.00
CloneBoy Penis Cloning Kit from  – R854.00 Yes you read right, this is a kit to clone your penis into a dildo for your lady on those nights you can’t be there. I like couple toys and I KNOW you’ll all like the idea of your equipment being the only kind she uses.
Bag it Up

There isn’t a girl on the planet who doesn’t love a great handbag. If your lady is into classic styles, I love the handbags at Nine West; they are all good quality and neutral enough to wear with anything. But the chances are that she probably has a bag for everyday practical use so why not get something a bit more playful and colourful like this range at Big Blue:
When I Grow Up Bag – R700.00
Typewriter Bag – R550.00
Colourful Bags Big – R690.00, Small R550.00
We’ll Take a Holiday
Booking a little getaway out of town is something every girl will love! Venture off the beaten track and try some of my favourite small town weekend stopovers:
Kalm from R400 – R600 p/p sharing per night. I love the funky shabby chic colourful look of this place.
The Castle from R850.00 – R1100.00 p/p sharing per night. What a way to make her feel like a princess!
The Post House from R605.00 – R1055.00 (Honeymoon Suite) p/p sharing per night. Famous for its appearance in the advert that coined the phrase: “Get this man a Bells!”

Coffee Bay:
The Coffee Shack Backpackers R380 gets you a private en suite room right on the beach. Very laid back vibe with lots of adventure activities to do – surfing, hiking etc…
Mountain sanctuary Park from R400.00 p/p per night sharing a log cabin and R350.00 p/p per night sharing for Chalets.  Take a walk in nature and cool off in one of the rock pools, how cool?

That’s a wrap!
This wrapping paper is pricey but oh so pretty from The Space at R48.00 per sheet.
Way to personalize your present with letter gift boxes from The Space at R79.00

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Freak on a Leash


Raquel was late in returning from her outride, the soft sticky Noordhoek air still clinging to her body as she slowed Triton down to a trot, and then a reprieving stride. Each day her rides with Triton had grown a little longer, and stretched a little later into the orange dusk that so delicately rested along the Cape horizon. She liked to tell Gerard it was the coming of night air that required her absence in his house, the quiet rhythm of hooves against sand that brought her back to neutral and ultimately to him. The lies unfolded with uncomfortable ease, their only tell being the rose hue that spread across her chest and the slight surrender in her emerald eyes, that she consciously cast to the floor in her delivery. But tonight there would be no need for this pretence.

The light from the stable was already on, and she could see his silhouette now, lifting fork-fulls of hay into Tritons feed. In the growing darkness, her mind filled in the blanks… imagining the smell of the horses, the sweat in his hairline and the musk of his aftershave. She wondered if he would help her off her horse again tonight and go back to work, or if, in Gerard’s absence, he would finally satiate the building hunger she could no longer hide from him. She handed Phillip her crop and helmet, and felt her fingers digging into the grooves of his hard shoulders as he lifted her off the stallion and into his arms. She thanked him and allowed the strap of her top to fall as she walked towards the homestead, her anticipation finally interrupted by his worn working hands, wrapped around her wrist. “Wait, Raquel” he said; his eyes unable to take themselves off of her robust curves and cascading auburn locks. He loved how they danced along her collarbone, inviting his lips to taste what they had for so many years, yearned for. With all the words she knew waiting to explode out of her mouth and in between the two moonlit figures, Raquel was speechless. His hands fled from her hands to her waist and then down to her riding boots. He unzipped them gently, and removed her socks, her feet now absorbed into the cold wet grass. With dangerous confidence, he rubbed the soles of her feet and began embracing her ankles, planting kisses along her calves as if he’d dreamed of it every day he’d worked, in the last 3 years, as her stable master. Raquel had never had another man’s lips wrapped around her toes, his tongue hinting mischievously at his intentions for her - but then… Raquel had never had another man.

And that’s where I’m going to leave you… in the stables, with Raquel’s toe in Phillips mouth? Yes. Yes I am going to do just that.
For some of us, the idea of having someone’s foot in our mouth or vice versa is about as erotic as sorting through garbage for the spoon you accidentally threw away with your leftover goulash. It’s a little… icky. But who are we to judge what the next person thinks is sexy, after all aren’t we all harbouring some kinky tendencies when it comes to what really turns us on? Show me someone who blatantly disagrees and I’ll show you a liar.
While getting ready to attend Jacks sailor themed birthday party, Mimi, Dax and I (appropriately inappropriately dressed in Sailor costumes) were talking about the idea that everyone has a degree of freak inside them.
Dax: “You know girl, something I’ve learnt is that most guys are not born with a natural freak in them. It takes a while to bring it out. I’ve even walked out on a guy, who just.couldn’”
Mimi: “She’s not kidding, she literally left him stark naked in bed.”
Me: “That’s so rock star.”
Dax: “I know. But here’s the thing, some people have a freak inside waiting to come out. Some people are brave enough not to ever hold it back. And some people….”
Me: “Are happy with two pokes in the missionary position.”
Mimi: “You two are freaks!”
Dax and I: “And proud of it!”
With a room full of Seamen (pun intended), including mine, I looked around wondering what sexual secrets hid behind that curtain we draw quietly across all our inner most desires, so no one can see. Perhaps Jake and Josh are swingers, maybe all that the girl in the bikini wants - is to be called a dirty slut, maybe Dan likes his orgasms in public… who knows, maybe I do too. And then there are those fetishes that I can’t wrap my head around – the guy who likes drinking breast milk from the source, for example. I guess there must be some sort of scale of freaky-deakiness that we allow ourselves to slide up and down on, fast, slow and sometimes a little rough.
That night I lay awake in bed, thinking about my inner freak and how much of it I am prepared to let run free off of its leash. My motto has always been, “I’ll try anything once” but in retrospect, perhaps it’s not always that easy. What happens when you allow new things or extra people into your bedroom? Can we allow ourselves to still be ladies on the street and freaks in the bed when our hearts are so intricately entwined in our panties? How do we play nice when it comes to raising the freak flag on our sexuality?
The answer, or maybe the start of it, came to me the next day as we lay on my couch, about to drift away.
Me: “There’s this spot on my arm, the inner part of my elbow. It’s so sensitive to any kind of touch – I’d love it if you kissed me there. I think it’d really turn me on…”
With a smile and peaking curiosity, he kissed me.
Me: “There’s a few other spots I like too…”
My Guy: “Show me - you don’t ask, you don’t get”
Me: “Well, in that case….”

“Stop!” she said, catching him quite off guard. Phillip shrunk into himself, mortified by his premature lusting for her and the milky smooth foot that slid softly away from his cheek. He stood up, his engorgement no longer discretion, and began to walk away with dampened spirits, a mere mortal in her shadow. He turned back for one more gaze; he never wanted to forget this night, the night he was almost brought to ecstasy by a red headed whisperer.  She stood against the light of the stable, now completely naked with eyes that begged for him to come back to her. Her hand wrung around the leather crop he’d let fall to the floor. “Come inside”, she said. “I want you at least twice before I see the sun.” Before he could hesitate, she thrust the crop down into the hay, sending tendrils into the air and about her thighs. “Is that going to be a problem?” she asked. He smiled, his blood rushing back to his cheeks, “No, mam” he replied.

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Full of Shift

A mouthful of bright colour and flavoursome delight disappears into my mouth. My cheeks bulge with overindulgence, like a 2 year old at birthday party dangerously close to the customary bowl of Flings and Oros. As a trickle of juice sneaks its way to the corners of my mouth I smile and almost lose the mouthful – rescuing it quickly with the side of my wrist. There are so many reasons why I love this food... this plate full of undairified, meatless bounty.

The photos from my 25th birthday are well – hard to get hold of – and as I sit eating my lunch I page through the few I’ve kept. The girl in them is just too miserable to even look at. She’s weighed down by so much baggage (physically and in all ways possible) that people have dumped on her over the years, you can barely see underneath it all. It makes me sad to see her that way, like an emotional pack mule, because underneath it all I’ve always suspected that she may be spectacular. It was shortly after the celebrations at my farm that I decided I needed a change. Not a little change like switching moisturiser brands, a massive catapulting catharsis.

Ed: “Why are you doing this? To lose weight?” 

Carly: “No. I just have to do something. I want to get excited about something again.”

Ed: “And your thing is going to be becoming a vegan?”

Carly: “It’s only 3 months Ed.”

My almost carnivore roommate gave me a look of serious doubt. I’m sure he thought I was plum crazy (maybe I did a little as well) but I just knew it was the challenge I’d been looking for. A new focus for me, away from all the stresses I was facing daily. Now what I need to highlight, behind all my rantings and reasonings is the phrase “For Me”.  For the first time, I was going to go on an adventure with myself – for myself – and no one else. Just that idea in all its simplicity was as exciting as the prospect of spending the day at a spa.

So I did what I always do and jumped in as project manager – I got creative in the kitchen, I started reading vegan blogs every morning at work, I discovered some groovy health shops and restaurants where I could sip soy cappuccino’s and sample tofu biltong, I even reconnected with an old friend: Coriander. I never weighed myself once, I never stepped foot in a gym and I never forgot what was driving my veggie campaign. Just me, lil ol' CTB.

After my three month probation I felt elated. I looked great, I felt lighter and I had found a new respect for all things digestible. I’d had to think about each thing that went into my mouth for the past 90 days and I’d grown quite a conscience. But after the ecstasy of achieving my goal had worn off, I slipped back into old habits. I retracted my presence in the universe, I put myself at the bottom of a long list of to-do’s and I stepped right back into position ready to battle with my obstinate body again.  And that’s how the story WOULD have ended, if I wasn’t armed with a ridiculous amount of Goetspa. I told myself that a lapse didn’t have to mean a relapse and that I was going to fight – for me.

I knew I wasn’t ready to be a full time vegan. I’d been vegetarian (sometimes flexitarian) for a few years but the thought of never tasting Emmentaler cheese again was just a little too daunting. And then, as though the wisdom had always been inside me – hidden like a genie’s lamp in a magical cave, I shifted.

I began a dialogue with myself that brought to light some revelations, the main one being:
When you are good to yourself; yourself is good to you.
I subsequently started a balanced eating plan and got enthusiastic about my place on the earth. I put myself first which resulted in me shedding close to 23kg’s, by constantly relaying back to the fundamentals I’d learnt while being vegan.

This is why every year; I rally up as many friends and family members as I can to celebrate World Vegan Day (I try sneak in a WHOLE week!). In some ways it’s my tribute to a fantastic way of living that has given me so many learning’s and moments of self discovery. It’s sort of my own cheesy (dairy free of course) Independence Day – reminding me to take care of myself and to be aware of how food is actually healing. I truly believe it was an integral part of saving my life – or maybe just giving me an even more splendiferous one.
When I’m in a muddle of the ordinary, confounded by existential dilemmas or just not embracing my title as President of Anything Can Happen – I remember that it can. It did. And it can again.