Where’ve all the good men gone? I’ll tell you. They are at Babylon, ordering trays of Lavodka and fist pumping to Madonnas latest album.
It’s a typical Friday afternoon at chateau Carly... my fridge is stacked with premixed cocktails, I’ve just replaced my work pumps with some fabulous blue velvet wedges compliments of New York and my DSTV is set to Cityscapes. If I close my eyes I can almost smell the weekend. I’m waiting for my guests to arrive before My Oke is banished to our room to get lost in his world of Battlefields and Fifa. Headphones on. My lounge will soon be filled with 7 gorgeous men. No I am not partaking in an orgy... I am questioning my queer compadres on all the things I think straight guys are just too... what’s the word? Pussy, to talk about.
“Daqueri , Pina Colada or Mojito?” I ask as they arrive one by one.
“Mojito!”;“OOooh, whats good?”; “Surprise me!”
My Oke knows this is his queue, one quick kiss before we begin and then its just me and my boys.
“Right lads before we begin I’d like to thank you all for coming over and for sharing your candour with me. I may not be the most religious girl but I know there’s one thing we all believe in, Prada!”
We pass the bag around and swear on Prada to keep things real and of course anonymous. I look at the group in front of me and think to myself, how great it is to be around a group of people who are not afraid to be who they are.
Cocktails are poured to get inhibitions down. And I began with some banter about relationships – man on man. I was intrigued to hear about the complexities in a same sex relationship, the hardships and the unique challenges. I was surprised to hear the very same and similar qualms I would have in my own life and with my own relationships.
As the evening went on and we began to talk about way more tantalizing topics such as insider blow job tips, double fisting techniques and assentials... I was “blown” away at how easy conversation was. There was no holding back and everyone’s honesty card was on the table. How lucky was I to be sharing mojitos with a bunch of mo’s who felt comfortable and free in their love lifes, identities and sexualities.
That’s when it hit me... the gay man is the new alpha dog. They are everywhere and taking over fast. Think about it... with the feminist movement in full swing they have the best of both sexes... they are these well equipped men, in tune with their emotions and armed with a healthy dose of testosterone, drive, emotional intuition and empathy to inspire great character and creativity. Suddenly I looked around my immediate universe and all I could see was bright rainbow flags.
I know very few men with as much balls, courage and beautiful complexity as this bunch. Can you imagine having to confront your parents with the idea that you aren’t going to have the stereotypical life with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids plus a Labrador? Or being completely in love with a girl but knowing you’d never love her quite like you’d love a man? Crazy courage.
Then I ask the big question... are all of us just a little bit bent? I was interested mostly in this discussion because I battle with the idea of it being acceptable for girls to make out with girls (my favourite past time) but not boy on boy. What’s up with that? Why is it ok for a straight girl to kiss another straight girl and not the other way round?
“Because society says so”
“A lot of pressure is placed on a man to be the stronger gender, to be the support structure financially, to protect. It’s more acceptable for girls to be seen intimate together because they are viewed as more “weak” for want of a better word. If men had to openly express themselves like that it would attack their masculinity and that links to a fear in society.”
I ponder for a moment and biting my lower lip half wanting to know and half wanting to never know...how many straight men have gay experiences?
“More than you think”
We discussed how most men at a curious age will experiment with their sexuality... and pretty much everything else. So did curiosity kill the pussy? Not necessarily. Some of these men will go on to discover they are gay while others will get married and start a family.
“I believe that everyone has varying degrees of homosexuality, from a guy checking out another guys penis in the bathroom to another guy getting head from a gay man. We’re all somewhere on the Kinsey Scale”
I take a beeeeg gulp of my watered down strawberry daqueri and think back to every man I’ve been with. I take another big gulp. Just before I judge I roll back the clock to varsity days when I’d been very close to dating one of my girl friends. As I think about her, I smile and think... where would I be on that scale? A 5, a 4?
As the splendiferous 7 get ready to depart chateaux Carly I can’t help but admire them. Them, who are not afraid to say what every one else dares to whisper. If these forward thinking fashionistas are taking over, they’ve got my vote. Even if it is on a pink fluffy ballot.